Be patient with yourself. The desire to want to feel better is natural. Holistic self-care is a gentle approach to healing deep-seated trauma without dangerous side effects.
Trauma is a part of life. There is no way to get around it. It can come from so many different directions. Trauma specializes in unpredictability. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
It is not uncommon for a baby to be born into a traumatic situation (mental illness, incest, substance abuse, generational poverty, prison nursery). That presents a more complicated situation, because the baby is helpless to its condition. Unfortunately, that baby does not realize healing until it becomes an adult who comes to recognize the need to change toxic social cues
Taboo Topics aka "Dirty Laundry"
Mental illness and family secrets often cause people to shun or whisper about the lurid details that surround behavioral, social, emotional, and spiritual manifestations that arise in a crisis moment.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, some of the common signs and symptoms of depression in men are:
Anger, irritability, or aggressiveness
Feeling anxious, restless, or “on the edge”
Loss of interest in work, family, or once-pleasurable activities
Problems with sexual desire and performance
Feeling sad, "empty," flat, or hopeless
Not being able to concentrate or remember details
Feeling very tired, not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much
Overeating or not wanting to eat at all
Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts
Physical aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems
Inability to meet the responsibilities of work, caring for family, or other important activities
Engaging in high-risk activities
A need for alcohol or drugs
Withdrawing from family and friends or becoming isolated
These symptoms can be experienced separately or in clusters.
For men and women, it is important to note that depression is a medical condition that can cause pain -- literally.
Certain types of depression are unique to women: Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD, PMS), Perinatal Depression, and Perimenopausal Depression.
Just like their male counterparts, no one cluster of symptoms is to be expected from all women.
"The severity and frequency of symptoms, and how long they last, will vary depending on the individual and the severity of the illness." (NIMH)